A Bicycle Built for Three

Little Man's birthday has always coincided with Mother's Day; he was born the Wednesday after Mother's Day, which has always been a happy memory for me. That Mother's Day before his birth was filled with uncertainty. We knew his due date, and we had shared with a few people privately that he was on the way. However, we also kept the news under wraps because we understood the unpredictability that the birth could bring. I had been away on a lovely weekend with friends that Mother's Day, where only one friend was aware that he was even a possibility. To hear them talk that weekend of what they loved about motherhood while also enjoying a little bit of time away was such a surreal feeling for me. On the one hand, I felt so certain that the following year that would be me, but on the other hand I protected my heart knowing how easily certainty can hurt ( as I wrote about before Little Man was born ). To now be just a few days away from his fifth birthday seems unreal. A...

Every month we attend a family literacy night held at a local school. There is dinner provided, activities for the kids while the adults hear from a guest speaker, and a free book to take home. We've been attending these nights since Little Man was six months old, and this summer he will be old enough to attend their summer camp. There are so many types of families who attend, many of whom look like ours. We feel so fortunate to have found this gem of an opportunity. Last week we arrived early to play on the school playground before dinner. After the requisite climbing and swinging, Little Man found a basketball and headed over the one of the basketball goals. As he played I noticed a young Black girl enter the playground and begin walking around the track. Soon, however, I saw her head our way. Without a word, she retrieved the basketball Little Man was using and began to play catch with him. Occasionally she would shoot the ball, then hand it back to him for his turn. If he made ...

Little Man was recently sick for almost a week with a virus and eventual war infection. Thankfully he had no other real symptoms other than a fever that just stubbornly hung on. We rested, begged him to eat and drink, and enjoyed lots of time on the couch watching the Olympics. Even the cat sat with him, when normally she would rather be anywhere else.  He first started feeling ill at school while I was out of town for the day, and though I was able to get home that afternoon I also had online class that night. The working parent guilt is real, as is the rejection that comes from being the non-preferred parent. All I wanted was Little Man to feel better, but for awhile there it didn't seem I had what he needed. Any hug or reassurance only seemed to help if it came from Husband. When I had to take over so Husband could go to work I became a reasonable alternative, but watching your kid be sick is no fun for anyone in the family.  Often when making the sick kid decisions -- when...

Another holiday season has come and gone, and now it is time to welcome a new year. The last month has been a blur of final projects, events, and time with Little Man as we both are home on winter break. This was the first year he seemed more aware and enthused about celebrating holidays, including seeing cousins for Thanksgiving and Christmas. He was especially excited to light candles on Hanukkah, although for me that time was overshadowed by the terrorist attack on Jews at Bondi Beach. I chose not to allow Little Man to attend a public menorah lighting out of concern, which was an upsetting decision to even have to make. That being said, I've been encouraged to see him become more aware of the different parts of his life coming together in unique ways. We have also started to talk at dinner each night of Kwanzaa about the different values and how those might look in his young mind. Some, like Ujamaa (Cooperative Economics) or Nia (Purpose) are a lot to understand, but he is star...

I realized I last attempted to write a post in October, and when I looked at my drafts I made it to one paragraph before calling it a day...and then a week...and then a month. Needless to say, the realities of life won out. Lately when it comes to Little Man I have been thinking a lot about what and how he is learning. At his parent teacher conference we heard a lot of great things, as well as the goal of raising our hands more instead of blurting out answers before others have a chance to think. His enthusiasm for learning is clear, and even when it seems he isn't listening he will prove otherwise. He is honest to a fault, and when he does wrong he has the self-awareness to eventually identify where he could have made a different choice and why. As parents we couldn't have been happier with what we heard.  That being said, he is also still learning how to calm his body -- his brain is always so hard at work that the rest of him has no choice but to follow along. I love his ene...

In the blink of an eye I have turned 44.  Special shout-out to the coworker who was surprised I wasn't still in my 30s; I guess my personality stood out to her more than my gray hair.  As I've stated in most if not all of my annual birthday posts, the number doesn't really bother me.  Rather, I want to focus on what the previous year has brought and what the new year has to offer.  If the last week is any indication, I'm in for quite a ride. Having a birthday around the start of the school year is always an adventure.  Sometimes I get a day off, sometimes I get a mountain of work.  Adding my graduate studies to the mix, as well as a preschooler whose social calendar is often more packed than my own, means long days and hectic nights as I try to make it all work.  I do not burn the midnight oil (or even the 10pm oil), so I'm constantly looking for pockets of time to complete a few lines of writing.  I don't want to miss out on family time, and it's...