A Bicycle Built for Three

Our little boy is now one year old, a milestone that still surprises me. The whirlwind of meeting him seems like a lifetime ago, yet to think a whole year has passed is a shock. Everyone says it goes quickly, and now I know they are right. Little Man, you are a joy. Your smile lights up the room, and your presence is a delight. You soak up new information and are curious about the world around you. I love watching your mind work, and I'm proud whenever I see you find a way to solve a problem. You are independent and determined, which means you do things on your own terms. This has been the most fulfilling, scary, fun, difficult, emotional, and inspiring year of my life. I don't think I'll ever really feel confident as a parent, but when you smile a smile that's only for me I think perhaps I must be doing something right. I can't wait to see what life has in store for you.

Today is my first Mother's Day. Last year we were matched with Little Man's birth mother but didn't know fully what to expect. I spent the weekend with two dear friends as a way to distract myself from the wait, having no idea that he would be born only three days later. I have been absolutely spoiled by Husband, Little Man, and others -- gifts, cards, texts. Our daycare made me an adorable key chain and framed pictures. We went to an art fair today and a florist was surprising mothers with a red carnation. It has been a lovely day. However, for much of the day I was also strangely unsettled. There are so many takes about Mother's Day, including from the adoption world. The day before Mother's Day is known to some as Birth Mother's Day -- yet there is a divide between whether it is respectful or offensive. Those with complicated parent/child relationships or those who have experienced loss or infertility hate how this day pours salt into wounds. The definition o...