Feeding Frenzy

A huge news topic for the last several months has been the nationwide shortage of baby formula.  I had intended to write about this sooner, but personal and national events have taken center stage.  I suppose there was also a small part of me that assumed the shortage would have been addressed by now -- yet I still see numerous posts on social media pleading for leads on particular brands or types of formula.  We were fortunate; when the shortage began Little Man was already starting solids and wasn't as dependent on bottles.  When we couldn't find what we did need, we made a switch and he thankfully tolerated it well.  However, we do not take for granted how lucky we were in this awful situation.  Hearing stories of families desperate to find what they need is terrifying and heartbreaking.

Even as Husband and I tried to conceive the question of chestfeeding (a more inclusive term rather than breastfeeding) vs. formula loomed.  When we started our adoption journey I thought it wouldn't be a question anymore for obvious physical reasons, but I learned that there are some adoptive mothers who induce lactation.  For some, they believe chest milk is the healthiest option; for others, they want to create and intensify their bond given they didn't have a physical connection during pregnancy.  Thinking back to our trainings with our adoption agency, I remember hearing about ways to bond with the baby but couldn't recall much time (if any) spend talking about induced lactation.  As it happens, that was for the best.  Many birth parents and adoptees are vehemently opposed to the practice because it feels like a gross overstep that completely erases the birth parents' role in the process.  To many it feels dishonest and disingenuous.  When we learned about Little Man and began to prepare, Husband and I had no doubts about using formula.

It turns out, though, that the pervasive belief that chest milk is best has found its way to the adoption conversation.  There are many who shame adoptive parents for not seeking out donor chest milk, and this shame has only intensified during the formula shortage.  For many there simply isn't reliable or convenient access to donor milk. For others, the cost is too high. Our own pediatrician warned us about how expensive donor milk can be and told us that it was our choice but that formula was perfectly fine. While there are many families who privately connect to share milk rather than going through a milk bank, there is a safety risk when donations aren't screened.  These obstacles can be nearly impossible to overcome, yet that isn't enough to satisfy the naysayers.  There are plenty of passive aggressive suggestions that people terrified of not finding needed formula wouldn't have been in this situation had they just used donor milk to start.  This unnecessary shaming does nothing to help the situation, nor does it take the needs of children or parents into account.  Not all babies can tolerate chest milk, and not everyone can chestfeed. Just being able to chestfeed also doesn't guarantee the ability to produce enough milk. Some children have medical needs that require specialized formula, and those needs can last beyond infancy.  Yet somehow in this debate the insistance on being right is somehow more important.

I am fully in the camp of "fed is best".  Families have to do what works for them, full stop.  There is no one right answer despite what some might believe.  The formula shortage is an emergency, and thankfully for all of those that are directing their energy towards negativity there are others stepping up to help however they can.  I can only hope others in a position to take definitive action start doing the same.