Red Light, Green Light

Little Man and I attended a birthday party at an indoor play place together last weekend -- Husband was away at drill.  He was happily climbing a rope ladder when he slipped and tumbled to the ground; undaunted, he bounced right up and went off to find a new adventure to chase.  However, he started holding one of his arms to his chest and relied almost solely on his other arm.  At first he claimed his elbow itched and would use the arm if he really needed to, but as the party and afternoon progressed so did his resistance.  He wouldn't let me touch or examine it, and when asked to move it he would move the good arm only.  Based on my first-time parent level of alarm and some logical advice from my physical therapist sister, we jumped in the car and attempted to find an open urgent care.

After leaving two sites that were either closed or full, third time was the charm.  The clinic employees were all very kind and we were seen almost immediately.  An initial examination plus an x-ray showed no concerns; I was given a sling for him to wear if he needed it, but otherwise I was just to observe him and bring him back if the issue persisted.  He certainly enjoyed parading around that evening in the sling, but by the next morning it was already forgotten and he was back to tearing around the house at warp speed.  The crisis, for the moment at least, has been averted.

To his credit Little Man was a rock star.  We've had to practice saying "yes" when a doctor asks us to do something, and despite any discomfort he leaned his little arm on the x-ray plate and held perfectly still (although, amusingly, he did say the portable x-ray "robot" was "in his personal space").  He sat as patiently as a toddler would in that situation, and he didn't panic or overreact to the idea of getting a picture of his bone.  Hopefully that was because somehow, miraculously, I managed to also not panic or overreact to the idea...at least externally.  Internally I was a wreck.  I had seen the spill off the rope ladder but hadn't thought it significant; naturally, as the day wore on I was wracked with guilt that I had missed something despite being only a few feet away when it happened.  Based on his enthusiasm for running, sliding, and tumbling it's safe to assume our first x-ray won't be our last.  It still won't change the anxiety that stems from knowing something may be wrong and assuming the worst, especially knowing there was nothing I could do to stop it from happening.

I know things will happen to me and to him in life, and I won't do him any favors by hovering relentlessly. I also know he deserves a balance between encouraging his independence by stepping back and being actively engaged with him. He is generally risk averse, but he will also learn from not always waiting for an okay from me before doing anything. Even if the roll of the dice doesn't pay off, he knows I will always be there.