Mindset
We received our home study renewal materials and are already hard at work. The good news is that the renewal process really isn't that bad, compared to the initial work we put in a year ago. A lot of the information is the same as last year, and many things that haven't changed don't have to be done again. We were easily able to get an appointment with the doctor to complete our medical forms, and we will have no problem getting everything turned in with plenty of time to spare.
I've started teaching a two-week online course, which puts me on my computer a lot more. While that also means I've been checking social media a lot more, the groups have been fairly quiet. However, there have been a few interesting moments. An obvious scammer made an appearance in several groups, claiming he adopted from Africa with what he called a "reputable" group. The group doesn't, surprisingly, have any information available on it at all. While it seemed most of the hopeful parents saw his game for exactly what it was, there were one or two who asked him for more information before learning the truth. It's sickening what some people will do to prey on the emotions of others.
In one group an expectant mother posted on her own instead of following the expectation of running communication through an administrator -- a common rule designed to protect the mother and keep her from being bombarded with private messages without any sort of support. The rule also exists to try and keep scams at bay by allowing for vetting of a potential situation. I reported this birth mother to the administrator to ensure someone was looking out for her, but not before she agreed to message several hopeful parents. The post was taken down soon after, and I was left wondering what happened next. Did the messaging between the expectant mother and the hopeful parents continue? It may have been too late to stop that, and there is a small part of me that worries that somehow within that short time a match was made -- and that makes me furious. I've been following the rules and nothing has come of it, but why have rules if people will just ignore them? There is no way for me to know if anyone benefited, but if they did it's hard not to feel like it just isn't fair.
Another situation was posted today for a baby born last week. Questions were asked about the cost of the adoption, and many were shocked by the high price. It was eventually discovered that a lawyer was facilitating the adoption and stood to make a large profit -- he charged a high price for each family that wanted to apply, and his fees were on par with that of a large agency. The state in which the birth mother resides also legally allows for her to have expenses paid by the adoptive parents, and the quoted fee appeared to include non-specific expenses incurred. This baby was being treated as a commodity instead of a human. While many were outraged, I'm sure it didn't stop hundreds of hopeful parents from submitting their information. Adoption as a business is quite controversial, and today was a good example as to why.
In the face of all this I am trying really hard to stay positive -- easier said than done. Mindset is always a focus of mine during the school year, and it's something I know I need to improve. Even though I have a reputation among my coworkers for being positive and laid-back, I internalize a lot. I react very strongly when there is negativity around me; it really eats at me, and I have a hard time ignoring complaints/pettiness/inflexibility. Given how much I hold onto emotionally, it's not surprising how susceptible I am to being pulled downward. I've also struggled with depression for years, which certainly exacerbates my tendency to give into despair. Every year I resolve to rise above the fray, and every year I try to do just a little bit better. It's going to be especially challenging this year with all of this constantly on my mind, but I have to hope that a positive outlook will manifest itself in my favor somehow.
I've started teaching a two-week online course, which puts me on my computer a lot more. While that also means I've been checking social media a lot more, the groups have been fairly quiet. However, there have been a few interesting moments. An obvious scammer made an appearance in several groups, claiming he adopted from Africa with what he called a "reputable" group. The group doesn't, surprisingly, have any information available on it at all. While it seemed most of the hopeful parents saw his game for exactly what it was, there were one or two who asked him for more information before learning the truth. It's sickening what some people will do to prey on the emotions of others.
In one group an expectant mother posted on her own instead of following the expectation of running communication through an administrator -- a common rule designed to protect the mother and keep her from being bombarded with private messages without any sort of support. The rule also exists to try and keep scams at bay by allowing for vetting of a potential situation. I reported this birth mother to the administrator to ensure someone was looking out for her, but not before she agreed to message several hopeful parents. The post was taken down soon after, and I was left wondering what happened next. Did the messaging between the expectant mother and the hopeful parents continue? It may have been too late to stop that, and there is a small part of me that worries that somehow within that short time a match was made -- and that makes me furious. I've been following the rules and nothing has come of it, but why have rules if people will just ignore them? There is no way for me to know if anyone benefited, but if they did it's hard not to feel like it just isn't fair.
Another situation was posted today for a baby born last week. Questions were asked about the cost of the adoption, and many were shocked by the high price. It was eventually discovered that a lawyer was facilitating the adoption and stood to make a large profit -- he charged a high price for each family that wanted to apply, and his fees were on par with that of a large agency. The state in which the birth mother resides also legally allows for her to have expenses paid by the adoptive parents, and the quoted fee appeared to include non-specific expenses incurred. This baby was being treated as a commodity instead of a human. While many were outraged, I'm sure it didn't stop hundreds of hopeful parents from submitting their information. Adoption as a business is quite controversial, and today was a good example as to why.
In the face of all this I am trying really hard to stay positive -- easier said than done. Mindset is always a focus of mine during the school year, and it's something I know I need to improve. Even though I have a reputation among my coworkers for being positive and laid-back, I internalize a lot. I react very strongly when there is negativity around me; it really eats at me, and I have a hard time ignoring complaints/pettiness/inflexibility. Given how much I hold onto emotionally, it's not surprising how susceptible I am to being pulled downward. I've also struggled with depression for years, which certainly exacerbates my tendency to give into despair. Every year I resolve to rise above the fray, and every year I try to do just a little bit better. It's going to be especially challenging this year with all of this constantly on my mind, but I have to hope that a positive outlook will manifest itself in my favor somehow.
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