Our One Word 2.0

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Today at work my boss decided we should once again reflect on our words for the year.  I wrote previously about this, noting that it came when we were at an extremely low point in our fertility struggle.  At the time I chose the word "strength" in the hopes it would help carry us through the uncertainty we were facing.

Two years later I find strength has a different meaning.  We are still staying strong, but it isn't always easy.  I've found that part of the difficulty in staying strong is the fear that I'll never be good enough.  After all this time it still feels odd talking about being chosen by someone, but it is what it is.  The longer we wait to match, the harder it is not to feel inadequate.

So, this year my word is "worthy". I have to believe that I am worthy of being a mother and that the anxiety of the wait will be forgotten when it finally happens.  I need to stop doubting myself and reassure myself that it's just not my time yet.  My worth may not be apparent, but I have to keep faith that it's there.

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