A Bicycle Built for Three

For some reason I've just been a big ball of emotions lately.  I'm not sure why, but I just constantly find myself holding back anger or sadness.  Some of it is likely just general anxiety about working in a pandemic and a continued lack of progress on the adoption front -- nothing new there.  It just seems like every time I look at social media I'm hit with something. A Facebook friend is about to return to work after a four month maternity leave.  Four months?  If I'm ever lucky enough to even get to have maternity leave, it certainly won't be for four months.  Another Facebook friend just completed an adoption and is posting her baby registry multiple times a day -- including in an adoption matching group for which she is an administrator.  While it's great that she is getting her happy ending, the constant solicitation for gifts (especially in a group where no other situations seem to be forthcoming) is just so insensitive.  I've already ignor...

Several weeks ago I responded to a Facebook post about contributing to Faces of Adoption.  Posted through Help Us Adopt, it is a forum for all parts of the adoption triad to share their journeys.  I was glad we got to take part and share a bit of ourselves with the world! Check out our story at https://www.helpusadopt.org/faces-of-adoption-meredith-adam

2021 is not off to an auspicious start.  COVID is not going away.  Violence erupted in Washington D.C. as protestors staged an armed attack on the Capitol building.  The end of the 2020 did nothing to prepare us for what was to come so quickly in the first days of what was supposed to be a promising new year. I've also found myself drifting in fog.  My fears about this year have increased with each passing day.  I can't seem to shake the constantly negative thoughts crowding my mind, and I feel like this depression won't go away.  So few situations are presenting themselves, and so many hopeful adoptive parents online are talking about how long they've been waiting -- and usually it's much longer than we have.  I've also seen an emergence of hopeful parents in our state, which creates this internal sense of disgusted competition.  I feel like I'm under a constant weight and nothing I do will lift it off my shoulders.  I don't want to keep fee...