Small Milestones

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Little Man is now 11 days old.  He was discharged to us a week ago.  It still doesn't feel real; sometimes Husband and I jokingly say it feels like we've been doing an exceptionally long babysitting gig.  However, there are also moments where we still tear up thinking about the fact that we get to call him ours.  

We've learned a lot in the last 11 days.  After various experiements with diapers and feedings things are starting to go a bit more smoothly.  Husband and I have taken to doing shifts at night so that we each can get rest.  Little Man has proven to be a good baby.  He wants his food when he wants his food, and he is not a fan of diaper changes -- he also is really, really not a fan of outfit changes.  He latches well onto his bottle, except when he doesn't.  He sleeps for two hours at a stretch, except for when it's an hour or only 30 minutes.  He does well in the bassinet, except for when he doesn't.  We're all still figuring it out, but so far we've been figuring it out together.

Patience and teamwork have been key.  When we took Little Man to a weight check the doctor said something wise; when it comes to his behaviors, are they because something is bothering him or is it just bothering us?  When he doesn't feed properly the first go, is it really hurting him or are we just anxious when he's anxious?  That advice has made it easier to stay calm with him until things work out.  It's a process, but we are getting there.

That's not to say there haven't been hard moments.  There have been a few nights where either Husband or I have panicked, worried there is something wrong with him or that we are making mistakes.  We have to remind ourselves that we will of course make mistakes; all parents do.  Right now, according to the doctor, as long as he eats, sleeps, and poops he is good.

I'm also seeing small changes in myself.  I find that I can also finally feel happy for others again.  I'm losing my jealousy and depression.  That's not to say this has been easy at all, but I can finally start to let go of some of the things that were holding me down for so long.

Next week is our fourth wedding anniversary, and we are hopeful that the process that will allow us to take Little Man home wraps up soon -- it would be the sweetest gift to celebrate that day in our home as a family.

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