A Bicycle Built for Three

Last week we were thrilled to welcome my sister, her children, and my aunt for a visit.  The week was full of food, laughter, and swimming and culminated in a special moment -- Little Man receiving his Hebrew name.  In the age of COVID the ceremony looked a little different; it took place in our home, only family was present, we were masked, and members of Husband's family who couldn't make the trip joined us via Zoom.  While we didn't get to celebrate with the Jewish community as we normally would, it was just as meaningful (as evidenced by the happy tears I subtly tried to wipe away throughout).  This moment was the first real opportunity to build on a component of Little Man's identity other than his race. This bringing together of elements is known as intersectionality.  The concept can be traced back to Japanese-American activity Yuri Kochiyama.  A survivor of interment and an activist who worked alongside Malcolm X, Kochiyama promoted solidarity acros...

As Little Man grows and changes, we are starting to learn about the best ways to care for him.  While we were putting together our registry we added typical health and hygiene products -- lotions, shampoos, and the like.  However, we quickly realized that not all products are created equal.  The overview we received from the adoption agency about hair care for Black children way back during the initial home study process suddenly became much more relevant, and we are now doing everything we can to learn how to care for Little Man properly. There are many different types of curls and textures to Black hair, and the options for hair care are overwhelming.  I started following different pages on Facebook and Instagram, some of which are specifically for white adoptive/foster parents to learn how to care for their children's hair.  Like anything else with raising a child, there is conflicting information out there; some will swear by one brand, for instance, while o...

Recently we attended a small event at a local park. We were having a nice time with Little Man when two large pickup trucks pulled into the parking lot. One toted a large American flag; the other's flag included a profanity aimed at President Biden. Husband and I immediately looked at our son, and it didn't take much for us to decide it would be best to say our goodbyes and leave. We didn't feel like he was in danger, per se, but that kind of open hostility did not bode well. Do I think these men were racists? That would be a bit of a snap judgement, although they were inferring their loyalty to a former leader whose words and actions -- and, consequently, many of his followers -- have demonstrated just that.  They were heading towards a group in another part of the park, so our chances of crossing paths were slim.  However, our instincts told us to play it safe.  As we drove home Husband looked over at Little Man and murmured, "You are such a brave boy. You see everyt...

Yesterday Little Man turned three months old, meaning we have officially survived the fourth trimester.  Having not been pregnant it wasn't something I really had heard of before until we were in the early days of newborn fog.  As I quickly learned, the fourth trimester refers to the first three months of a baby's life as they learn to live outside of the womb.  While it is also a time of adjustment for new parents, it makes sense for the baby -- after growing so cozily for so long, the outside world is certainly bright and jarring. The fourth trimester is all about getting through.  Sleeping and eating happen on demand, sometimes simultaneously.  Laying down alone in a bassinet or crib is shocking, which is why laying snuggled in someone's arms listening to a heartbeat is the ultimate comfort.  There is no concept of day or night, and although as we get older sleep just seems inherent that's not the case for newborns; sleep, just like anything else, is a s...