The Other Side of the Month

-

It is once again November, which means it is also National Adoption Month. I've taken time the last few Novembers to write about our adoption journey, but this year I think it's time to focus on Little Man's journey instead.

For many adoptees this month is difficult, something I've noted in the past. There has been a movement to focus on the realities of adoptees, including the trauma of adoption. While those conversations are absolutely necessary, they also scare me. I know we are doing everything we can to support Little Man, and there is no way to predict the future. It just breaks my heart to worry about what he might feel later in life and know that I am a factor in that.

However, I also can't dwell on the negative. This November Little Man is happy and thriving, which is all I can ask for at this stage of his life. National Adoption Month for me seems like a good time to self-reflect -- on the past year, on the joy of the present, and on what I can do to positively influence the future. I realize that although I am part of the adoption triad this month really shouldn't be about me. I do appreciate the opportunity to share our story, but ultimately this is not a time to center ourselves. This month really belongs to adoptees, who deserve a space to process and to be heard. November should be about transparency and honesty when it comes to adoption, and it should be an acknowledgement of those who have flourished and those who have struggled. Let's use this month to educate others -- friends, loved ones, hopeful adoptive parents, and even ourselves. Some may celebrate this time and others may dread it, but in either case it is noteworthy and should not be overlooked.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Let's Pretend!

-
One of Little Man's favorite phrases lately is, "Let's pretend.."  Sometimes the phrase is followed by, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to myself" -- although a moment later I'm obviously expected to be part of the conversation.  Little Man's stories certainly run the gamut, from tales of heroic acts to ferocious bear hunts to mysterious worlds on the other side of the cracks in our fence.  He talks of his older sister and what her life must be like, as well as reporting the goings on of his daycare friends.  He is quite insistent that his version of the world is true, and there are times where perhaps that would be preferable. This type of creativity is something teachers like to call "a rich inner life".  At this age it's beautiful and entertaining look at a developing mind.  Many argue that the structure of education and its path to college or career prioritizes logic over whimsy, even as more and more businesses find tha...
Read more

Fantastic Four

-
Last year Little Man's third birthday was on Mother's Day  -- this year the celebrations are just one day apart.  He's another year older and -- at least in his mind -- another year wiser.  Looking at him I don't see much difference, but holding up pictures from last year to now it's a shock.  His vocabulary, his interests, his emotions; everything about him is big and getting bigger.  His independence is reassuring and scary, such as when he takes off at warp speed down a busy street or is very insistent in telling me that stomping his foot in rhythm with Lady Gaga is not the same as finding the beat of a Lady Gaga song (both true stories that occurred on the same day).  Needless to say, he keeps me constantly on my toes.  No one can make me laugh harder or clench my jaw tighter than he can. Little Man, on your fourth birthday I wish you the space to continue spreading your wings along with the peace you seek when emotions feel too overwhelming. ...
Read more

The Storm

-
Yesterday our city experienced a severe storm; it has yet to be called a tornado, but winds were incredibly strong.  I was in my classroom planning when the sirens went off; moments later we got the call to move to our designated shelter location.  The energy was different as both students and teachers could tell this wasn't just a drill.  We ended up sitting in a small hallway together for nearly an hour as warnings popped up on phones, then changed, then got pushed back.  A few students got upset, and some enjoyed the adventure of missing class.  We did our best to keep everyone calm and entertained, including playing 20 Questions and Guess the Animal.  Our lights went out a few times but never for long, and our emergency lights always came through as needed.  Finally, stiff and sore, we managed to get ourselves back to class and to some semblance of schedule.  After that hour spent with students I realized I focused all of my mental energy on t...
Read more