A Bicycle Built for Three

As if these last few days haven't given me enough to process, I read a story today about an adoptive family who "re-homed" their son after bringing him home from China five years ago.  I use the term "re-home" only because it was theirs, not mine.  This adoptive family discovered that their son had more issues than they initially realized, and they felt they could not adequately meet his needs. It sounds like an undeniably difficult situation; surely that was an agonizing decision to make.  However, there is more to the story.  The family has an immense social media presence and have made an actual business out of sharing their lives; their posts are monetized.  Their previous posts and quotes about adoption emphasized that their love for their son and their willingness to do whatever they needed for him.  They are even quoted as saying that their son was "not returnable". So, what changed? I don't pretend to understand the intricacies of this ...

It can be hard to be proud of where we live sometimes.  I live in a state that has received some significant attention for how people have responded to COVID-19.  This pandemic has brought out the best and worst in people, and lately it's harder to find the best.  I am hopeful that there is reason for optimism, but I don't take anything for granted. However, recent events in our country have overshadowed all that. New York. Minnesota. Kentucky. Indiana. Georgia. Christian Cooper. George Floyd. Breonna Taylor. Sean Reed. Ahmaud Arbery. While Mr. Cooper is still here to tell his story, the others aren't.  Mr. Floyd's death has led to protests, which police have tried to stop with tear gas.  An interesting reaction, given that armed protesters entered the Michigan capitol building last month wanting freedom from the "oppression" of Covid-19 restrictions and got to leave with seemingly no consequences.  I have the ability to walk out my front doo...

I bought a car seat last week. I didn't intend to -- it just happened.  A local resale store often offers brand-new products at good discounts, and they happened to have the exact car seat we researched at a really good price; it was straight out of the box, so bonus for the safety factor.  We know the chances of being called for an immediate placement are slim, but of all the things needed to bring a baby home right away a car seat is probably one of the trickiest.  So, throwing some caution to the wind and hoping for a dose of good karma, I bought the car seat. It sat in the living room until Husband had a few days off to come home and see it in person.  It's now sitting in the closet of what we hope will someday be the nursery.  Staring at it for those few days was odd; it was odd just having it in the car on the way home from the store.  I was reminded of my sister bringing home her three kids; in my mind I can see the pictures of all of them in the...

Fans of the show "Gilmore Girls" will be familiar with the idea of a "dark day" -- one of the main characters, Luke, experiences it each year on the anniversary of his mother's passing.  For me, Mother's Day has become my dark day.  It's hard to watch celebrations of motherhood while feeling like I will never be worthy of such an honor.  Of course I celebrate my own wonderful mother, sister, mother-in-law, and sister-in-law, and I certainly agree that mothers deserve more than just one day a year to acknowledge all they do.  However, it's a glaring reminder of something that may never come to be. The worst place to be on a dark day is social media.  Seeing so many posts of gratitude and adoration of mothers hurts deeply.  This year's dark day will be bittersweet; Husband will be away, so I get to/have to wallow all alone.  There was an early jab today when I saw a post in an adoption group I've joined.  The post was made by a woman who has ...

We're living in strange times.  In the midst of a pandemic life as we know it has changed dramatically.  I've suddenly become a virtual teacher.  Husband was furloughed from his job, but was then offered a chance for temporary orders with the army.  He is working overnights -- three nights on, two nights off.  He's only a few hours away, so he can come home to do his laundry and enjoy a home-cooked meal.  I like to joke it's a bit like having a college student instead of a husband, but we're grateful for the arrangement.  It's not a deployment, but it's a steady paycheck and a way for him to feel useful in rather chaotic times. The downside is that I'm constantly alone.  When I first started working from home I was constantly busy -- glued to two computer screens, in and out of video conferences, emailing, making phone calls, figuring out how to stay connected to students.  While I've been able to find a routine, I've also found that the ro...