A Bicycle Built for Three

Yesterday afternoon my phone rang, showing an unfamiliar number.  I don't always answer those calls, but the area code showed it was located in the same area as our adoption agency.  I decided to chance it...and I was right.  It was indeed the agency. As soon as the caller identified herself as the agency director my heart began to race.  My mind went to all of the possible reasons for the call, good or bad.  It turns out the call was mostly good.  She told us that there was a potential expectant family with whom she wanted to share our profile, but there was one part of our preference sheet didn't align with theirs and she needed to know if it was something we were willing to compromise.  She also wanted to let us know, now that we are almost a year in, why our profile wasn't shown in some situations.  One reason we weren't shown was religious preference -- clearly not something we can control or change.  The other reasons dealt with our p...

Not long ago I had to grit my teeth through another Mother's Day, reminded that I am not a mother.  I'm still hopeful that next year will be different, but there's just no way to know.  Today is Father's Day, and while I haven't mentioned it to Husband I'm sure it's in the back of his mind.  We wished our own fathers a good day without acknowledging how it feels for him.  Perhaps I glossed over it in the hopes that he found other things to occupy his mind; perhaps I just didn't want to be the one to make a difficult day even worse.  Either way, I know social media stings a bit today and can only imagine how it feels for him. I can't wait to take to social media to praise his awesomeness as a father, because I already know he's going to be amazing.  If how he treats me is any indication, he will be the most attentive father.  He will go out of his way to make a child feel seen, heard, and loved.  He will teach them how to ride a bike, change...

In previous posts I've briefly discussed social media -- seeing things that can be triggers, trying to promote ourselves to expectant families, and the like.  While I've been able to stop myself from constantly checking my email for messages from our adoption agency, I've found myself spending even more time online.  On our agency's advice, we've been doing alternate networking to try and match; social media is a popular choice for hopeful adoptive parents.  Many of them have their own websites touting their profiles, Facebook pages, ready-made social media posts, and more.  There are so many groups one can join that exist for the sole purpose of creating a space for connection.  It can be very overwhelming. I've only joined private groups because I don't want our journey to be our sole focus.  I realize that by keeping it somewhat private I may be missing on potential opportunities, but I feel like I have to draw a line somewhere.  As it is, there...

Our adoption agency requires 60 days notice to renew our home study.  In two weeks we will hit that 60 day notice...which means we will be almost a year into our adoption journey. In some ways it seems to have gone quickly; in other ways it feels like it's been forever.  We knew that deciding to adopt wouldn't immediately lead to a match, and having been in this for almost a year isn't unusual for most hopeful adoptive families.  The odds of a quick match were unlikely, and even though we went through those first initial views of our profile we've tried really hard to manage our expectations.  Knowing we have almost hit the milestone of renewing our home study, though, stings.  The passing of a year signifies one less year available for us to experience family.  A year of heartbreak and disappointment is scary, and we don't know where we go from here.  We've agreed for sure to this renewal, but beyond that we just don't know.  How much optimism ...