43 And Me

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Another trip around the sun means another birthday reflection.  To be honest, I'm not sure where the time went; last birthday was spent in Poland with Husband, so to realize it's been a year causes a real head shake.  The first part of 42 was without a doubt the hardest year of my life -- there were so many highs, but the strain of Husband being deployed will never really disappear.  I am happy to say that 43 is starting off a lot brighter having all of our hearts together at home again.  Seeing our family whole and happy is a gift that can't be replaced.

The gray hair is certainly more pronounced now, despite recently being mistaken for a high school student (I contend the lighting must have been flattering yet really bad to make that reach).  I feel the literal and figurative weight of another year every time I get down on the floor to play with Little Man and then have to get up again.  Despite feeling my age, I've started re-committing to my health and getting up extra early during the week to exercise.  Do I enjoy it?  No.  Is it a necessary evil?  Yes, and one that I know will be worthwhile -- being able to keep up with Little Man as he runs or bikes is the payoff.

This is also the start of my 20th year of teaching, a number that seems larger now than it did 20 years ago.  To be this far into my career is astounding, but at the same time I am closer to the end than to the beginning despite my age.  Trying to reconcile all of that is difficult, so I suppose I'll just keep taking it one day at a time.  As of this year I've taught at every grade level in our program and in my current building I've taught in all but two classrooms -- a testament to a whole lot of things, I suppose.  A student happened to ask me this week about how long I'd been teaching and how long I planned to stay.  He mused that 30 years seemed like a good round number but that if I felt like it I could keep going.  I'm not sure my physical and mental limits are as strong as he believes, but his sentiment was sweet.

So now here comes 43 and for the first time in awhile it just is what it is.  I'm not welcoming a new child or adjusting to life as a solo parent; there is no asterisk next to this birthday.  Just having the chance to sit quietly on the couch and type this is not the rare luxury it once was, since life has become a little more open as Little Man grows and Husband is home.  I'm sure this year will still hold surprises, but as this day comes to a close I'm glad to just let it be.

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